There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
my being single is dangerous.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
