You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
MIDGETS
????
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
