this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
