I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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