Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
honey bunches of taint.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
