So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
