guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
