forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
