she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
