where am i from again
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
