she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
