hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
