Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize