I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
