I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
