Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
