I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
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