He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
