make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
smell my finger.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
