I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
