Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
