im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Couch. On fire.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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