we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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