i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize