My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
