I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
