I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I cockslap morals
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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