at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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