Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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