So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
