So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
