Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
In America we eat man semen.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Randomize
