People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
