We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
