Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
