I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I think people are normalizing furries
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
