I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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