I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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