Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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