Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
