I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
