hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
