After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
