I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
