you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
