nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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