is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
