So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
