dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
