new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
