I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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