if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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