I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
