You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize