Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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