He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
