how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
