how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
