Tell her she can't have a vagina
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
