Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
