i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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