so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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