She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
