its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize