Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
