is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Michael Bay diarrhea
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
