When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
