Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
There's always time for handjobs
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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